For my definition essay, I wrote about the word "Success".  I described how the media distorts our view of success by telling us we need money and fame.  I also explained that I believe success should be determined by how happy we are.

My rough draft provided a good outline of what I was going to do, but I was missing a personal testimony and a few other details that I needed to make my paper better.  I also did not include my definition of success as much as I should have.

My final draft was much better. I added more to my introduction and conclusion and involved my definition throughout both as well as the rest of the paper.  I made the paper easier for high school and college kids to relate to by including things familiar to them.  I even included the famous character Borat and his famous quote "Great Success".  I also made the paper more interesting and appealing to my audience.After completing my rough draft, I was unsure of my paper and did not think it represented my writing ability, but my final draft has made me much more confident.  I think the paper shows what I am capable of as well as my definition of the word "success".

You can find links to my rough draft and final drafts below to see my improvements and to see what I think about the word "success".


Rough Draft
Final Draft